What Are Friends For

Megan Hilty: Honest Friends

March 16, 2021 Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry Season 3 Episode 7
What Are Friends For
Megan Hilty: Honest Friends
Chapters
What Are Friends For
Megan Hilty: Honest Friends
Mar 16, 2021 Season 3 Episode 7
Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry

On this week's episode Gabrielle and Pallavi sit down with Megan Hilty and discuss everything from taking baths, to Pass the Mic Broadway, to - wait for it (but not too long) - stool softener. Real friends get real with each other - that's what friends are for.

Get 10% off your HydroJug order with code WAFF10 https://www.thehydrojug.com/discount/FRIENDS  

Get free delivery on your first grocery order of $35 or more at instacart.oloiyb.net/WAFF

Follow us everywhere @waffpodcast


Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Show Notes Transcript

On this week's episode Gabrielle and Pallavi sit down with Megan Hilty and discuss everything from taking baths, to Pass the Mic Broadway, to - wait for it (but not too long) - stool softener. Real friends get real with each other - that's what friends are for.

Get 10% off your HydroJug order with code WAFF10 https://www.thehydrojug.com/discount/FRIENDS  

Get free delivery on your first grocery order of $35 or more at instacart.oloiyb.net/WAFF

Follow us everywhere @waffpodcast


Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Pallavi Sastry:

Gabrielle you are glowing

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Why Thank you Pallavi and contrary to popular belief, it's not just from my pregnancy.

Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

Okay, my new hydro jug has been keeping me extra well hydrated and being hydrated improves your complexion leaves you with your natural glowing skin and Hey, Pallavi, I have to say you also have that fresh face look like you're ready to slay the day.

Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

Hydrojug is so slay that we'd like to say that friends are for keeping each other hydrated. So WAFF fam head on over to thehydrojug.com and use the promo code WAFF10 at checkout so you can get 10% off your very own hydrojug.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Once again that's W A F F 10 at checkout for 10% off your very own it's super stylish slay hydro jog enjoy friends and don't forget with hydrojug there is nothing between you and crushing a gallon of water per day.

Pallavi Sastry:

Now back to WAFF no really What are friends for Welcome back to season three of What are friends for it is March it is Women's History Month. Very excited to speak to my best friend Gabrielle Ruiz. I am Pallavi Sastry,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

and I've been introduced so glad to be here. I know I changed it up on you there. But I mean I'm with you. I'm a yes. And so don't worry, I got you

Pallavi Sastry:

listen, I figure at this point. We've done this so many times that we can kind of throw some things at each other just for fun

Gabrielle Ruiz:

we can do whatever we want. This is what our friends for and this is our freaking show Welcome everybody. Thank you for reviewing and rating us because you guys telling other people who we are, what we're doing and what we're all about really, really gets us out there. Because we really believe in talking about and fighting for in our lives platonic love because that is so important. And we think you know, we want to change the game when it comes to what society is telling us it's all about the romance and with like our significant others. No, it's also about our friendships with people because as an adult, recovering skeptic, recovering friend skeptic, I have to say I had to figure out like how to like be like a giving friend to some people versus like always being about work.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yes. And you know, being able to talk about my Nisha about and I think I'm going to take this little opportunity to give you an update on my hot water situation because I'm still dealing with it. So I took a bath yesterday, though, you know, I love to take a bath. So I was able to take a bath because we're getting hot water out of our tub but we're not getting it in the rest of the bathrooms. So now it's a bigger issue and we found a leak under the seats today. Yay.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Well, if you just are telling me reports about showering, I'm so glad we're on zoom in the studio. Because that would be different be like so, Pallavi, you want to come over and take a shower?

Pallavi Sastry:

Well, it's actually I'm so glad you said that. And yes, I will come over and take a shower. But it's the perfect segue because the guests we have on today is somebody who's like inadvertently done me a couple of solids but this is the first time we're meeting.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I want to hear this amazing friendship tea that you guys didn't even know you had.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah, so and I also went and use the shower of our mutual friend who connected us so it's gonna be in her shower at some point in the next couple of weeks.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

This is what we talked about on what our friends for our shower.

Pallavi Sastry:

You want to do the intro Gabrielle?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yes, I am so thrilled to meet a person that I've admired from afar for a very long time as a Broadway broad myself. This person is an also an actor, singer wife, mom. A Christmas enthusiast and is very good at putting ketchup on just about everything. Please welcome Megan ilty

Megan Hilty:

Hey, how's it going?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Hey, girl. We took showers today. We're good. How was your shower today?

Megan Hilty:

Oh, what's today?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Exactly,

Pallavi Sastry:

exactly. It's Thursday.

Megan Hilty:

It was a good one today.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, it was a good one.

Pallavi Sastry:

Do you have like a shower schedule? Like I take baths on Tuesday and shower on Thursday. So

Megan Hilty:

here's the thing, I love to take a bath, but the bath has to be like pristine it has. You have to see that there is nothing like no grime anywhere. And we the house that we moved into an LA has a Jacuzzi tub, which sounds like it's really fun. But all I see are nooks and crannies where things can be hiding and

Gabrielle Ruiz:

where things are living.

Megan Hilty:

I don't. I don't want I don't want it. So I'm a shower person at my house. But if I go to a fancy hotel, and it looks really awesome. I will take a bath for

Pallavi Sastry:

I had no idea. This is where this episode was gonna go. But

Gabrielle Ruiz:

listen, it's with it's Women's History Month. That's what we were talking about earlier. And Megan, what you didn't fit what you did. Last summer pass the mic Broadway is just beautiful, like, honor to women on especially like if that's you know, because you chose Carly Hughes. And that was in July. That was July 6 2020, which goes into our segment

Singing:

Instafriends or Reality

Gabrielle Ruiz:

our first question is talking about your posts from July 6 when you did pass them we did pass the mic Broadway. It was a beautiful like seven posts of Carly and she is. So we would love to hear your friendship because we know from Carly side off off like microphone that you guys are just loveliest of friends.

Megan Hilty:

We've been friends for a very long time. Um, I I couldn't even tell you how many years I know it was in college. In West Virginia Public Theater, we both did. Their summers stock shows, yeah, summer stock, we didn't work together that we've never worked together. Um, I was in a couple shows, she was in a couple shows. But she was dating one of my friends at the time. And they were doing Smokey Joe's cafe. So I went to, to see them. And I saw her performing. And I already heard about her from our mutual friend that she was dating. And, um, and I was like this, this woman is amazing. I have to know who she is. And once once you meet Carly, you you instantly want to be her best friend. Like anybody in the world. I don't care who you are. She is this like bright, shining light that just illuminates every place that she goes, the temperature changes. I always say like, for the better, you know, when she walks in a room. And she always makes you feel like your family. Even if yes met you five seconds the truth. Yeah. And she's always been that way. And, um, so I was immediately drawn to her. And I was like, we have to be best friends. And she was like, Okay, and so that was kind of it. She I was at Carnegie Mellon University, she was at Penn State, and she would come visit us a lot because like I said, she was also dating someone at my school that I was very close with. And, um, and it just always stayed that way. You know, we've like any friendship, you know, like we've had our times where we've kind of gone some time without speaking to each other and then you kind of back together. And it's it's as if nothing has happened at all, you know, like, like, you just pick up right where you left off.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, we call those cactus friends.

Megan Hilty:

Oh, yeah.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, cactus friends. You don't need a lot of watering and you're always standing there strong when you come back to it. Like, there she is.

Megan Hilty:

Yeah, we're definitely cactus friends. Because like, I think we're there when we really need to be but like we. We're not we We don't like smother each.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah. And, you know, the reason why we asked about that particular relationship, because we know like, you know, there's a lot of history there. So I'm curious to know from your end is like, you know, how what do you think is the key to like being committed to leveling up as the years go by? right because we saw that that share the mic moment as a level of moment. Sure. In your friendship. Right. Would you agree with that?

Megan Hilty:

I Yeah, I agree with that. Here's the thing about social media I have ever real love hate with social media.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

this is the segment This is the segment of talking about it.

Megan Hilty:

I know I i understand how it's necessary, which is why I'm on it. You know, um, but I do not I agree with the the idea that everybody needs to know everything about me. And I don't I, you know, but but at that particular moment, I felt like it was. Me and Carly have never we talk about race a lot that we talked about we talked about specifically like, with my kids to like we interesting. We've always talked about it with each other. And then we've talked about how to talk to I mean, my kids were very little, but we're very open about, about racism, anti racism, civil rights movement, every that, like we get into it, even though they're little. And I'm, and I've always felt like, just because I'm not showing something on social media doesn't mean I'm not doing that happening. Right. It was it was a, it was a point where I thought it was important. Where all of these conversations that me and Carly have just naturally, daily, you know, it was important to possibly share that with people. And we were both really nervous for it too. Because we were like, well, we have a shorthand with each other. You know, we understand. I always say that that true friendship is knowing and understanding and respecting the other person's heart, and where they're coming from and like, and so we we always operate from that place. And we were like, well, just because we have a really, I guess, relatively easy time talking about these really tough issues, doesn't mean it's going to be received that way. You know, um, so we were nervous about it. But we also thought that it was really important to have a public dialogue. Yeah.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And also a public dialogue on on your own terms as friends. Right. So what I do love is I mean, I chose Vasthy Mompoint. And she is not the we are not long term friends like you and Carly are and so it was a different it was a different like, Hey, I would love to share the mic. I mean, I'm not white, I don't care. I wanted to be a part of it. And so I did it. I was like, I'll do the show that mic thing. And I didn't think it was I didn't think it was just like, patient, you know, like, specifically only allowed for white people to do and so I was like, I remember some people ask me like, well, you're not white. I'm like, I'm a woman. I can do it. Share right here.

Pallavi Sastry:

Exactly.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, I didn't move when it came to you. You and Carly's share the mic, I just thought it was so special that you know, you guys are such long term friends. And I do love to know that behind the scenes a moment where you were like, what is what is what is that we want to share? And how do we want to share it with both of our nice big platforms?

Megan Hilty:

Yeah, right. And the other part of this was that this share the mic had been going on for quite some time. Yeah, or that. But and and I had been, you know, people had been telling me, oh, you should do this, you should do this, you should ask this person, you should ask this person. And I The reason why I waited was because I saw the trauma that my friends were going through, and I didn't think it was appropriate for me to say, hey, you deal with this, why don't you educate people? You know, I didn't want to add more. I didn't want to like, say Hey, why don't you come? And I did. I felt very uncomfortable. You know, seeing what my friends were going through and then asking them to do more work

Gabrielle Ruiz:

than they already have been doing.

Megan Hilty:

By the time me and Carly ended up doing that. That's when it was it. It became it was natural, you know, that progression came naturally and at a time where she was really able to. I'm choosing my words Really? Like I don't want to I don't want to hear it. You're sounding her. Yeah. But I, I just didn't want to put more on her than she was already.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And that has a lot that that is a very that's one thing I learned. I have to say with BLM its tipping point last summer is we don't have to ask for for the black community to do anything for us. And with all these campaigns to make other maybe other communities feel better about themselves. You know, it was it was definitely I said recently on another recording that it's like you go to Coachella and you hear everyone's concert at the same time. You got to make space to hear silence and you got to make space to be off social media and do the work. Right and do like what is necessary to learn and unlearn.

Megan Hilty:

Right

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And so

Pallavi Sastry:

yeah, yeah, I was gonna say like and i think you know, to your point, a lot of you know the the love and affection and service that we give to our friends. isn't meant to be paraded around on social media.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

No really, Pallavi I love diving deep into platonic love with you it has really gotten me through this pandemic.

Pallavi Sastry:

Same here Gabrielle and you know, we are happily working so hard to produce this slay content for all of our listeners.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, that's why I'm so glad we joined Patreon.

Pallavi Sastry:

Hey, Patreon and Patreon is the opportunity for our listeners to get exclusive perks from us all while supporting our podcast streams.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

What kind of perks Pallavi?

Pallavi Sastry:

let me tell you about them perks. Okay, our Patreon page has tiers to choose from so you can pick the WAFF perks that speak to you, for example, just for joining as a WAFF friend, patrons automatically get access to the vodcast. Gabrielle tell them what a vodcast is,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

it's the video version of our podcast where you can see us and our guests friends interviewed on camera and wait for it. It's only $2 a month.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yes, it gets better. We are also offering the option to join us for a monthly WAFF live show and q&a.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Oh my God, that's amazing. So they can ask us about anything.

Pallavi Sastry:

Not only can they ask us anything, there's even a few tiers where they could come on and win a chance to meet our guest friends to ask them anything.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Slay, slay, slay, you know, I think what we're most proud of is that 10% of all proceeds from our Patreon page, go to charity. So not only are we focusing on great content for you, we also get the opportunity to give back.

Pallavi Sastry:

So you're saying that all you got to do to get these perks is [email protected] slash wolf podcast, that's W A F F podcast. And that directly helps us keep making the show. That's exactly what I'm saying. Because that's what friends are for. Now back to WAFF.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Do you feel that what you learned with being a first time mom or just with a newborn stages of you know, baby boo, but you noticed that a lot of hours of just that commitment? Do you feel like you've rephrased or created a sort of phrase to friends that you that are your friends that are becoming newborns through your life? Please ask for help. You can because you from what you learned.

Megan Hilty:

Yes. And I try to make myself as as present as possible without without, you know, because there's a real fine line. I want to be there if they want assistance. But so many people are so full of advice, you know, and with that comes a certain amount of judgment. At least it feels that way. Right? No. So I don't want anybody to ever feel like I'm judging them for whatever they're doing. But I want them to know that I'm here to do those, you know, if they if they want to talk about anything gross, I'm the first person that will talk about gross stuff. And, um, and confusing things because there's, I feel like there's so many things that, um, that are not spoken about. And I'm not quite sure why I asked my doula for for my first kid. I was like, Well, why didn't anybody tell me about this? She's like, well, we don't want to scare anybody. And I was like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have been scared, I wouldn't. I would have felt prepared. And I wouldn't have felt so alone, like feeling like I was the only person that this happened to. Right, right. Um, so that's why I try to make myself available. And let people know that like, I'm a safe person to talk to without judgment, like you can, every mom is going to do their own thing. And that is how the world works. Like, that's it. Um, that being said, I've, you know, I'm met with varying varying degrees of who wants to take that up, which is also totally fine. And I've developed, I've developed really close friendships with people that I otherwise wouldn't have, because of it, too. You know, that those are real intense, and intimate things that you're talking about. Um, and so yeah, I've actually made some really awesome friends through that process. And, you know, and some people just don't want want to go out on their own. And I completely respect that too. Sorry. That was a really long answer.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Well, no, it was a perfect answer, because I'm going to be a new mother. I'm going to be a first time mom. So like, what's gross advice you would like to give me I'm open for it. We're new. We're new friends. We're fresh friends.

Megan Hilty:

Take the stool softener

Gabrielle Ruiz:

that has been told to me. You are the second friend that has told me that Rachel bloom told me the same thing as

Megan Hilty:

my first doctor. Didn't tell me about it. My sister told me about it. So I had them on hand, but I didn't take them and that was a really terrible mistake.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Did you think you're like I got it. Or why did you do it? You just tired you forgot or you're like,

Megan Hilty:

I couldn't comprehend the necessity of it until

Gabrielle Ruiz:

you were in it

Megan Hilty:

until I was I was glad that my husband And was out of the apartment like, the screams because of the warm agador. Yeah. Oh, and then and then I re-tore you know, so it took me a lot longer to heal and the healing process for that is terrible.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

All right, well, you heard it here on WAFF moms to be

Megan Hilty:

taking the stool softener. Don't be worried about shitting your pants.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

you heard it from your friend Megan hilty take the stool softener. And I'm glad at either it's the people I'm able to surround myself with or just meeting people like you Megan, where, you know, the truth is just so so beautiful. It all the ugly and the stool softeners that come with it? You know, I mean, it's just, it's just so beautiful. So let's transition to our final segment

Singing:

lightning WAFF.

Pallavi Sastry:

Alright, so first question is, do you have none, one or multiple best friends?

Megan Hilty:

One

Pallavi Sastry:

And how do you keep in touch?

Megan Hilty:

I bully her into it Well, I'm no I don't bully her. Um, I mean, text, FaceTime, smoke signals show up in your house. I mean,

Pallavi Sastry:

I was gonna guess Jingle Bells because both of you are just Christmas fanatics like ah, next question. In one word, or we'll take a hyphenate. What kind of friend are you? Some examples might be your problem solver. You're a listener? You're needy, you're blunt, etc.

Megan Hilty:

Oh,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

a bully. I'm kidding.

Megan Hilty:

I guess there when you need me,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

cactus friend.

Megan Hilty:

Yeah. there when you need me and even when you don't? Let's do many words.

Pallavi Sastry:

Well, but just like dashes between every word you know, so?

Megan Hilty:

I don't know. I don't know. I don't I'm terrible at that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You can be multi you can be multi descriptive. It's fine.

Pallavi Sastry:

I, but, you are you've been very honest with us. So

Megan Hilty:

I don't know. Yeah. When when it comes to like self diagnosing myself or something like that. I'm not quite sure. Um, Ah,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

well, I'll help you out. I love the cactus friend for you for sure.

Megan Hilty:

Do that

Gabrielle Ruiz:

you're there. Well, you also said that you're there when you need me. That's That's me too. Like, don't call me to be like, what's up? Oh, not much like that conversations just like, oh my god, what do you what do you need? what's on sale this week?

Pallavi Sastry:

And what would you like to do better as a friend?

Megan Hilty:

Oh, um, I wish I was more available. I wish I was more available to everybody. I wish I could be more. It's just not possible. So but I wish I wish I could be more available.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

We'll just figure out how to tell you things.

Megan Hilty:

Yeah.

Pallavi Sastry:

We'll clone you. It's all good.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, we'll clone you. I figured it out and then our our final classic question on what our friends for is. Megan? What are friends for?

Megan Hilty:

Can we take out the for

Gabrielle Ruiz:

what our friends

Megan Hilty:

know cuz the whole podcast is called what her friends for you

Gabrielle Ruiz:

know, phonetically in its acronym and still works. WAFF so what ar what are f frien

Megan Hilty:

No, I I'll answer your initial question. I won't try to use your question. Um, friends are for stability for family for for understanding friends, your true friends are the people who understand your heart and where you're coming from and will give you grace when you fall and are and are there to it during your successes as well to i don't know i that's a terrible answer. But um,

Pallavi Sastry:

it's a great it's a good meme. I already heard the meme come out. So you did

Megan Hilty:

in good time.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You know, it comes up a lot at this podcast. It really comes up a lot. We did not buy the rights to the song, you know. We had to write it ourselves. It's cute. Ours is super cute.

Megan Hilty:

Maybe my maybe my answer should be Friends are for sharing your Netflix password.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Oh, that's powerful. That is powerful. I mean it says a lot it says a lot about that person

Pallavi Sastry:

you sharing your privacy you're showing them what you watch

Megan Hilty:

don't mess up my algorithm.

Pallavi Sastry:

So in this scenario Are you asking us for your information so I started by asking you for your

Megan Hilty:

know I know we're good, we're good, we're good.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Oh my god, I'm so glad we could actually be in some way even on a virtual zoom live friends now. So it's a long time coming.

Megan Hilty:

You're stuck with me now.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

That's great. Thank you for coming on. What are friends for Megan hilty you guys can hear and talk and see what posts we talk about and anything that we would love to share on our WAFF blog, which is on our public Patreon account. And please rate and review this podcast episode because we would love to hear your answer of what our friends friends

Megan Hilty:

friends friends,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

what our friends what our friends

Megan Hilty:

what our friends what

Gabrielle Ruiz:

our friends form, friends, for what? What's friending friends?

Pallavi Sastry:

Okay, bye. Yes,

Megan Hilty:

I'm so sorry.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You're amazing.

Pallavi Sastry:

This episode was produced by Team Access productions and Fast Nickel Inc. our supervising producer is Philip Pisanchyn

Gabrielle Ruiz:

or consulting producers are Kathleen Choe and Rose Harwood,

Pallavi Sastry:

head of production and marketing is Eva Ratcliffe digital content director is Susi Cabello. Our production assistants are Daniela Heredia Vega, Solaire Olson and Megann Billedo.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our podcast artwork is created by Aishwarya Sukesh original music is by Joie Sherman, and special thanks to irresistible force publicity, Bailey Disler and Hari Savitala

Pallavi Sastry:

Please remember to subscribe rate and review this podcast wherever you're listening to it now, this helps the show's visibility and helps us keep making it for you. And find us on all the socials Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and tick tock at WAFF podcasts. That's w a f f podcast to buy links to our exclusive vodcast live shows a shop merch or even text us visit waffpodcast.com. We truly appreciate you all checking in with us online. But you know that friend that you've been like, Oh, I really haven't checked in with them in a while. Go do that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah. Go do that. Now.