What Are Friends For

Jealousy vs. Envy

April 27, 2021 Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry Season 3 Episode 14
What Are Friends For
Jealousy vs. Envy
Chapters
What Are Friends For
Jealousy vs. Envy
Apr 27, 2021 Season 3 Episode 14
Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry

Green with envy....or green with jealousy? Does it matter when it comes to wanting what your friends have? In this solo episode, Gabrielle and Pallavi dive deep into the uncomfortable conversation of being jealous and envious of your friends and how to deal with these feelings.

This episode features voice messages from listeners like you!
To leave us a VM, call ‪(805) 973-SLAY.

Get free delivery on your first grocery order of $35 or more at instacart.oloiyb.net/WAFF

Follow us everywhere @waffpodcast

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Show Notes Transcript

Green with envy....or green with jealousy? Does it matter when it comes to wanting what your friends have? In this solo episode, Gabrielle and Pallavi dive deep into the uncomfortable conversation of being jealous and envious of your friends and how to deal with these feelings.

This episode features voice messages from listeners like you!
To leave us a VM, call ‪(805) 973-SLAY.

Get free delivery on your first grocery order of $35 or more at instacart.oloiyb.net/WAFF

Follow us everywhere @waffpodcast

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Gabrielle Ruiz:

No really What are friends for? Hey everyone. Welcome back to the WAFF podcast. I'm Gabrielle Ruiz

Pallavi Sastry:

and I'm Gabrielle his best friend Pallavi Sastry, I am very excited about what we're talking about today. We love these solo episodes, because we can kind of lean into some uncomfortable shit.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah,

Pallavi Sastry:

and yeah, so the today's topic was I did want to kind of just get into it. It is we have a question for you all. Are you jealous or envious of your friends? And do you know the difference?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You are welcome to still call in and answer that question because we're having a big finale, mostly involving your participation our listeners. So we're really really excited that we have a voicemail for you 805-973-Slay that is 805-973-7529 There are also like so many other ways to connect with us. You can dm us you can answer our q&a polls that Pallavi and I also have on our personal Instagrams, we have a TikTok I don't really know how that works. But you can also probably comment there, you know, we really want to hear what you all have to say when it comes to being jealous or, and envious of your friendships. How does that work in your life?

Pallavi Sastry:

For sure, you know, I think we've all had these feelings before we'd be lying if we said we didn't. And it's also really good to reflect on these feelings. So they don't snowball into negative effects. Like you know, they don't you don't lash out in any way because of these so that we don't if we don't address them, they turn into something more negative in the future. Right?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah. or you or you also just recognize that having coveting as the Bible sometimes uses coveting is yearning is wanting something that you can't have. And sometimes just even like recognizing it, if you're not talking to your direct friend that it involves, but like at least talking to about with someone else, helps you get over it in a way that it can be healthy because sometimes aspiring to want to be like someone that is so close to in your personal life a friend, it can be a slippery slope.

Pallavi Sastry:

For sure. So I think you know, in order for us to be really kind of organized about our debate about this and debate in the in the best way possible. I say debate because I think it's a healthy discussion, but I agree. Yeah, so we looked up the definition of both words. So Merriam Webster dictionary defines envy, as painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Painful, goodness, resentful, awareness. Like it's not like positive awareness. It's not aspiring awareness. It's painful or resentful, awareness.

Pallavi Sastry:

And then jealous. The definition of jealous is hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

AKA, but also, Miriam also makes an aka synonym of jealousy, the word envy, which I thought was rather interesting, that Miss scenario way around, right, but not the other way around. I mean, and anyone can call in it's also let us know like, what is the sitcom? Or what is the TV show that you remember that scene? I did have jealousy towards friends or envy and you're just like, Oh, she's just jealous of her or she's just envious. Or do you just use those terms interchangeably?

Carly:

Hey, this is Carly, aka @Rachelbloomies on Instagram. I'm phoning in to chat about jealousy versus envy. You know, when I think of jealousy and friendships, I think about maybe being jealous of like something light hearted, maybe a physical attribute about a friend like oh my gosh, you know, your eyes are so pretty. I wish I had green eyes. I'm so jealous. You know, in my friendships, when I say I'm jealous of something, I think of it more in a light hearted, endearing complimentary way. You know, I'll say I'm jealous. Without any subtext behind it, you know, kind of as a hype girl to hide somebody up to hype your friends up. But I don't really use the word envy at all. I think it has really disheartening intentions. And I try not to feel I feel like there's a difference. I think that envy is jealousy to an extreme where, you know you you're kind of bitter and you maybe want to take something away from someone like a friend or sabotage. And I mean, obviously, then you're not really their friend. But you know what I mean. And I used to think envy has some, like biblical connotations to it, which again, is just a word that is it seems different, less lighthearted than than jealousy. And so I see that as a more extreme version, which is a little scary, anyway, love you WAFFfam.

Pallavi Sastry:

For me, I actually do sort of agree with Merriam Webster, I feel like jealousy is is the thing that happens when envy goes bad. Like I think envy for me, in my opinion, yeah, when in my opinion, envy is like a very normal thing to feel. Because, of course, like, you want to feel happy for people and you, you do feel happy for them. But there's a part of you that longs for that sort of happiness or success or whatever it is. And then if we don't address it, it then turns into jealousy and then it becomes

Gabrielle Ruiz:

It turns hostile.

Pallavi Sastry:

It turns hostile. Exactly, exactly.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

We want to thank our first voice mentions that we played at the beginning, Carly, who sent in her thoughts. Let us know what you think on that feedback, everyone, and what she said about envy and jealousy. And when it comes to friendships, shall we go into Psychology Today, some like things that we did some research on, like good students?

Pallavi Sastry:

Let's do it. Alright, so the Psychology Today, which is more of an opinion, not opinion, but it's an educated opinion. And they say in common parlance, jealousy is often used synonymously with envy, but they are distinct emotions, whereas envy is a reaction to another person's seemingly unfair advantage or possession. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat of losing someone you already possess, in some sense, usually a person with whom you have a special relationship to a third party. In fact, many people generally feel some level of envy when a friend or loved one experiences success, but these feelings usually pass before long. Okay, so this is what I was saying before. So this Psychology Today sort of validates that envy is a natural normal reaction or a feeling, right. And then, and then if it's not addressed, it might turn into like we said, hostile feelings. And then, but they're also saying that, like jealousy is like a reaction of sorts. Like if somebody if you actually have like, deep seated feelings, and I actually get this, like, if you have like, deep seated feelings about or resentment towards somebody already, but you're just like in a relationship with them, like you're like in a forced relationship with them, maybe your co workers or something like that. You might feel jealous of a co worker, but you were like, forced to be with them. Right? or work with them. And then jealousy can sometimes come out as like you being like, mean to them.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Right? Yeah. Not letting them sit at the lunch table.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. So what are your thoughts on that? Gabrielle, do you feel a difference between the two now that we've read two definitions?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yes, that definitely helps psychology today's quote that you just read, what makes me feel better is that having negative and not flowery, star, twinkly feelings for your friend, all the time is okay. That's what's nice about it, addressing feelings that are not the most wanted or warranted. Sometimes they're irrational, I think addressing them and for them to go away that they should pass before long, just like psychology says, Psychology Today says, makes me feel like there is positivity in the definition of envy. Now, instead of jealousy, we're hostility the word hostility is you don't let things go. You don't address the feelings, they become not only toxic, but destructive. And that's when friendships can fall apart. For a very unfortunate reason that could have had a chance to be redeemed or fixed. Or you just got to check yourself and get over the feelings that you're having. Even if you address it with that certain person or not. to then be able to love them for who they are and for also their fucking success like that is a you know, because I think you know, in experiences before, personally, my life having envy against you know, having envy towards a friend. In the end, you're so happy for them but then there's like this tugging of like, Oh, I wish that was me or Oh, why can't that happened to me and you're and to not address that you bury The feelings you know, whatever you suppressing it, it definitely will persist in your emotions and it will come through, sometimes in an inorganic, toxic, destructive way. And that to me is jealousy

Singing:

Instafriens or Reality, yeah

Pallavi Sastry:

We wanted to get our followers, our listeners thoughts on this. So I posted about jealousy versus envy on the 16th. And we'll put these posts in our blog as we usually do, which is on our Patreon public page, I actually came at it in my post of how jealousy in like, I found songs about jealousy, so I could like figure out how to talk about it. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and all of the songs that are out there about jealousy are about being jealous of a, in a romantic situation, like you're jealous. Because your boy that the boyfriend is talking to another woman or like, you know, you're the guy is jealous. Like Jessie's girl is a. It's a jealousy song. You know, like, it's, it's all about the romance. And I was like, I feel like I've almost never had these feelings made a romantic situation. And I've only had them in platonic situations. So it was it was mind blowing to me that they're, like, even you know, we've talked about this before, like, the boy is mine is about a man like, it's that I mean, like, it's, it's not two women being jealous of each other for some other reason. It's, it's always having to do with the man.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And the man is not even involved in the discussion. It's just he's an idolized trophy, that they need to be competitive, combative, and destructive over with each other. Instead of them going to have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right

Gabrielle Ruiz:

shit.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right? Right. Yeah. And I just really wanted to like address how I've, I've been jealous in friendships, or envious in friendships, as we're learning is a more accurate description, and how I've felt like I've had the same feelings or actions or reactions towards me. And so we went to good therapy.org. To find like, the really typical signs of when to know a friend is jealous. Like, these are like reactions that they might have

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Or also yourself jealous to a friend.

Pallavi Sastry:

Exactly, exactly. And this felt like it was a lot more on the money. So the list is number one, they greet your good news with negativity. Number two, they frequently try to outdo or one up you. Number three, they make you feel bad about yourself. Number four, they struggle with insecurity and self esteem. And number five, they don't offer support.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I think I think a personal story for me that's relatable to one of these I could confess, is probably not offering support. And that's like directly saying not going to that person show because both of us were up for the role. Hmm. And maybe, maybe maybe we can dive into it. You can give me your feedback. I feel like I didn't go to protect myself from being other things on this list. I didn't want to outdo or one up because All's fair and Broadway audition land, you know and love for it. I didn't want to greet the good news with negativity like going backstage and just being like, it was great, because like, damn it, she was better. It's fine. You know, and but I definitely didn't go to the show. And I didn't see the show for with that person in it for maybe four years, in some way or another that person was in that show in some way or another. And it was because I needed to love that person or support that person in a try and in a way, as much as I could try to be genuinely happy for them from an arm's length, specifically about that moment, that that person maybe would never know, would never know that I was jealous, which is the more combat destructive one. But I guess I was trying to stay in the envious category. By not going to the show. What do you think of that? Do you think that do you think that falls in one of these signs?

Pallavi Sastry:

It does. I? Yes. I think that's accurate. And and it's also again, a very normal roller coaster of feelings for us to feel in the line of work that we're in. I think, again, this is why it's so exciting and hopeful that we're in this moment of uplifting each other as women in this industry as well. You know, I think this is why it feels so like needed and we're we're so invested in the movement at this time. Because we're recognizing that those feelings didn't feel good and that we didn't, we didn't love the fact that like, the reason we were having those feelings is because we felt like there was only one seat at the table or one shot or one. Yeah, spot, you know. So, you know, I think I get that I get that I think, you know, I've, I've had similar things that I can confess, and it usually has to do with me saying like, well, that girl got that because she's hot. I've totally said that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

How many times have you said that? Do you think?

Pallavi Sastry:

I don't know?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You can't count. Fair enough

Pallavi Sastry:

to myself to myself. I've probably said that many times, many times. Yes. And that is me struggling with my own insecurity of my appearance. Right. And me and my body image issues, and you know, my skin color issues and my hair texture issues? Like it's all of that. It's like, Oh, they clearly weren't looking for me.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Or that I wasn't enough in some way. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I think that really comes down to I mean, insecurities really come down to just wanting to feel enough, just wanting to feel like validation through love, especially in a career that you're so passionate and indifferent to. But I also can, I can also see that this innate, you know, more normal person workplace, like, yeah, hedge fund or a real estate company, you know, normal things, even like maybe in education, that there's something that everyone's aiming to achieve, or up or one up for themselves, that then it becomes a negative competition to one up each other, that you're just doing it to validate being wanted. Yeah. It goes right to the core.

Pallavi Sastry:

It does. It's and it's also Yes, that's it. That's exactly right. I'm thinking about a story that my mom, just sort of, like in in passing, might have even said, but I knew she was pretty frustrated by it. Because clearly it stuck with me, is you know, my mom worked in the public school system in Texas for a long time. And when she was deciding if she wanted to go into a full time, and she was applying for, like, you know, full time PTA jobs and things like that at the junior high and things like that, like, you know, we were living in rural Texas. And so she was like, Well, you know, Susan Johnson on paper is always gonna get the, the interview over Mony Canva Sastry. So, and I was like, Wow, it was like, that's, that's really layered. Like, that's a really layered example. Right? But you know, it's, and there's definitely legitimacy to it. Like, you know, she felt like she wasn't even going to get a conversation because like, you know, they didn't like the way her name looked on paper. So it doesn't matter what her qualifications are. So it was, you know, it was her also throwing away like the hurt of that, right, her just being like, saying that, that example is like her just kind of trying to cope with the hurt of all of the reasons why that sucks.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Right? Just coping. Yeah, it comes to that comes right to the core, let us know, give us a voice. Give us a voice message on any stories that you have any experiences from one end or the other, we would love to hear it. And we are touching base, again, in our season finale of what our friends for.

Patrick Jones:

This is Patrick Jones. And when it comes to jealousy in the I will say that that is something that I have struggled with. Because certainly, you know, we audition, we booked gigs, we don't book gigs, and it can be really tough amongst actors sometimes to see one succeeding doing really well, while maybe I'm not doing as well. So I will say that that is something that I have struggled with even sitting out in an audience and watching a show and being like, I could be up there. I could be doing that. But over time, it's something I've learned that I need to take joy, especially when it's friends of mine, who are they're doing their best and really making it and doing things that yes, I wish I could be doing but there's a love and respect and just adoration of what they're doing. And being so grateful for that. I think that's what it comes down to being having a sense of gratitude, and thankfulness that they are accomplishing wonderful things that they're doing what they love to do, and knowing that it's just a matter of time before I get to do what I love to do as well.

Singing:

Pink lemonade stand

Pink Lemonade Stand:

Are you feeling like an old bitter rind sometimes life hits you with lemons. But here at the pink lemonade stand, we're serving up smiles. Hi, we're your hosts, Nicole and Heidi, and every week we're reporting refreshing good news stories and discussing how to navigate things like relationships, work, wellness and how to survive this dumpster fire over a year. We'll be interviewing fascinating guests, doctors, teachers, artists, celebrities and our favorite friends who will share how they've turned lemons into lemonade and pink lemonade, we ask the juiciest questions. And we save the best for last for chatting about all of our latest obsessions and hot topics. There will be laughing there will be crying, and each episode will leave you with our motto. when life gets sour, we say pucker up and squeeze. Today, you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts, type the pink lemonade stand in that search bar and press subscribe. You'll also want to follow along with us on Instagram at the pls podcast for more sweet treats throughout the week come sip with us.

Pallavi Sastry:

Now we wanted to to talk about like a little more of a pop culture. We wanted to go to a pop culture source as well before we really go into more of our own stories about it. But we went to verily mag as well, which is a great publication and they have a whole article and we're once again, we're gonna post all of these articles that we're referring to on our blog. This one is called envy versus jealousy. And I'm going to read a small excerpt from it. It says we often use the terms envy and jealousy interchangeably, but the two have a slightly different meaning. Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, licensed counselor and author of several books on friendship specifically differentiates the two quote, unlike envy, which is just coveting something someone else has jealousy includes the fear that you're losing something to someone when they get what you want. Jealousy then is distinguished by a scarcity mindset. We feel what someone else has may limit what we're able to get. Hmm. So this is going back to the whole like, you know, one spot at the table thing like the Honestly, this is the whole brown girls brunch origin story.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah, scarcity mindset.

Pallavi Sastry:

Exactly. I, I felt myself not getting close to those actresses that I would see in the waiting room. Those actresses that I would like, you know, see in the show that I wanted to book and feel

Gabrielle Ruiz:

like keeping like an emotional distance or like

Pallavi Sastry:

an emotional, that's exactly right. And emotional distance from them, because I was so envious of this thing that I felt like was taken from me. Yeah. And when I came to LA, we've talked about this, you know, a few times, but very, very specifically, we talked about on Gloria Calderon Kellet episode last season, which I highly recommend you guys listen to. When I came to LA, I just didn't want that to be my story anymore. I mean, I grew up with so many other South Asian women in my early early childhood, and just remember being compared to each other in dance class, like in classical dance class. And you know, my best friend and I were compared to each other as far as our grades and like in that situation, like, you know, I was making I was getting better grades than her and so her parents would chastise her about her grades and you know, say you should be like, Pallavi, and like, in dance class, I was compared to my friend who was a beautiful dancer, and I just didn't want to practice anymore, because I just knew I was never going to be like her, you know? So I just didn't I needed to let that go. Because that was that's why we're putting the situation of feeling like we're not given opportunities. So I know you've shared similar stories about the Latinas who lead and all of that,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

yeah, I feel I feel like there's been there's been moments that even Agoria and America for whereas Latinas who lead monthly get togethers with industry, women, from writers, to producers, to actors, of course, pre pandemic that I was able to be a part of and met, was able to go through 70 bigotries who invited me and that's how I met Gloria Calderon Kellet and you walk into this room of like, gorgeous, successful, ambitious, delish, delicious women and, or are not just women, but humans that are wanting and already making a difference. In Hollywood, and everyone is inviting, and and building and like wanting to talk and listen to Gloria and listen to Eva and like, and there was this one girl that said, Hi, I'm new. This is my first time here. And I was very intimidated when I walked in. Because I've never been around a group of women that look like me, sound like me. And that also welcomed me. And my success. And after she, she confessed that she was like, so happy to be here. But I'm all she was very vulnerable and honest, she's like, but I'm also uncomfortable. So give me us give me some time. And I feel like she was from Mexico. Which one of our voice messages kind of taps into this from Maria, about how you don't really allow yourself to be girlfriends with people with you don't you don't allow the girlfriend dynamic to entertain itself in your professional world, especially if you're really successful in it, it becomes this protective mechanism. Hence me. That's where I come in as a friend skeptic, where I just was like I don't, I need to protect myself because my successes in No offense to you, but my successes have have failed me and my friendships. And I walked right up to that girl. And I was like, I know how you feel. And I said, this is a great space, it's safe. You can allow your heart to be here, I just want to say welcome because you're not alone in those feelings. And I wish you luck on this journey of being able to trust women again. And being able to not feel like jealousy and envy is going to stand in your way to making actual relationships in your career.

Maria:

Hey What Are Friends For. My name is Maria. And I just want to say that I only have guy friends because girl friends are too jealous. Like of each other, like all the time. So yeah, that's why I don't have girlfriends. See You Bye. Love the podcast. Bye.

Pallavi Sastry:

You know, it's funny I was, as you're telling that story, I'm sitting here thinking to myself that it's not it's not just like the, the career and the and the ambition part of it too. But there's also like competition that were put up against each other as women in like, personal milestones as well, right? You know, I'm thinking back to, I actually got a text message from a friend of mine, eight months after my baby shower, and I think I'm gonna read a part of it before we wind down and go into lightning waff. But this is a text message I got from a real life friend. And we were at that point where I wasn't sure if we were gonna, like, I wasn't sure. Are we close friends yet? Are we like friends friends yet?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And are we gonna let each other in? are we

Pallavi Sastry:

exactly and and I hadn't really. It was funny. Like, I even remember thinking to myself during this time that like, Oh, I haven't really heard from her any in a while, like, she's kind of ghosted me a little bit. So then I got this text message, eight months after my shower, and she said, this is seemingly going to come out of nowhere. But I have been meaning to tell you why I wasn't able to make it to your baby shower. I know. I know, it was a long time ago. But I've been wanting to tell you in person. And there's just never a right time. I just always feel bad that I never told you a couple of years ago, I tried to freeze my eggs and it failed. Like I went through all the hormones injections and didn't make enough eggs. And I'm sorry if that's too much information. But in any case, for a long time now, going to baby showers was really hard for me. And now I've made peace with it all. And I'm back to loving life again. But for a while it was difficult to process. Okay, that's all. I just wanted to tell you because I never did. Thanks for reading.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Wow. Wow. What was your immediate reaction to that?

Pallavi Sastry:

I read that. And I was immediately floored by her vulnerability to be able to tell me that somebody who again, we weren't I wasn't sure if we were getting to that point of being real friends. And the fact that she said like, wrote it down and sent it to me and made it a point to like, share that with me. My immediate response back was, thank you so much for sharing that with me. Like I'm honored. I think I told I even said I'm honored that you felt okay about saying that to me. Right? It was it was really, really touching. And I remember thinking to myself like that, like that's a goal like for me. I remember thinking that level of vulnerability and strength is a goal for me clearly. She had taken what I was saying before that resentment and worked on it she had addressed it to the point where She came back and told me and now I consider this person. One of my loveliest friends, like it really did. It was a turning point for us for sure. We mentioned the list above of the five signs of when a friend is jealous of you. And I thought that would be a fun lightning waff for us just to check ourselves like we said and answer them as if we were considering if we've ever done it to a friend or to each other even. Oh, no gasp

Gabrielle Ruiz:

or or vulnerability. You decide.

Pallavi Sastry:

Okay. All right, so I'll go first, I'll ask you the five questions. Okay. Gabrielle, have you ever greeted a friends good news with negativity?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Not to their face? No.

Pallavi Sastry:

Have you ever tried to outdo or one up a friend?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yes.

Pallavi Sastry:

Have you ever made a friend feel bad about themselves?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I hope not. I really hope not.

Pallavi Sastry:

Have you ever struggled with insecurity or self esteem?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Absolutely.

Pallavi Sastry:

And have you ever denied support to a friend?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yes. Okay, your turn. Here we go. Okay, one, Pallavi? Have you ever greeted friends good news with negativity?

Pallavi Sastry:

Probably

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Two. Have you ever frequently tried to outdo or one up a friend?

Pallavi Sastry:

Absolutely. Three.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

It feels good, though. It feels good to confess. Three. Have you ever made a friend feel bad about themselves?

Pallavi Sastry:

Same I really hope not. unintentionally, maybe. But yeah.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Four? Have you ever struggled with insecurity and self esteem

Pallavi Sastry:

every day? Every day?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

same same type? And five? Have you ever denied support to a friend?

Pallavi Sastry:

Yes.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Before we went to a final iconic question, leave us a voice message answer these questions, they will be on our free Patreon page, we'll list them for you to be able to call in. And you don't have to say just yes or no you can get into it because we really want to hear from you our listeners.

Listener:

I want to share my personal experience about what I've learned with jealousy and envy and a friendship. And from being jealous and envious in friendships. Nothing good has come for me personally, I always find that just communicating has been the best way. And sometimes the sad reality is that friendships fade naturally. And sometimes it might be a jealousy but it takes those feelings understand that sometimes friendships run their course and sometimes it's not forever, but they should always teach you something.

Pallavi Sastry:

And lastly, in the context of this topic, Gabrielle What are friends for

Gabrielle Ruiz:

friends are for protection, friends are for supporting each other in in a coalesced of dynamics. I think to be a good friend and to know what they're meant to be is to be able to have a one of a kind of formula to support each other be positive with each other and never make them feel bad about each other. not let your insecurities get in the way and always being positive as best as you can and when you do screw it up you have an allowance and allowance that can go out sometimes you can run out of it but an allowance to start over and be forgiven Pallavi in this context of discussion What are friends for

Pallavi Sastry:

friends are for practicing giving grace it's similar to what you said the you know the allowance to start over friends are for remembering your heart and their heart so that you can give grace and get better.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Hmm, I love that. I'm so envious of you Pallavi.

Pallavi Sastry:

So, I don't should I say back to you

Gabrielle Ruiz:

1234

Pallavi Sastry:

this episode was produced by Team Access productions and Fast Nickel Inc. Our supervising producer is Philip Pisanchyn.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our consulting producers are Kathleen Choe and Rose Harwood

Pallavi Sastry:

lead production assistant is Anna Dannecker digital content direct r is Susi Cabello. Our produc ion assistants are Daniela He edia Vega Solaire Olsen and egann B

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our podcast artwork is created by Aishwarya Sukesh original music by Joie S erman and special thanks to i resistible force publicity and H ri Savitala

Pallavi Sastry:

please remember to subscribe rate and review this podcast wherever you're listening now, this helps our show's visibility and helps us keep making it for you.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And find us on all the socials Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok at WAFF podcast. That's w a F F p dcast to find links to our e clusive podcasts, live shows s op merch or even text us visit waffpodcast.com.

Pallavi Sastry:

We truly appreciate you all checking in with us online. but know that friend that you've been like, ah, I really haven't checked in with them in a while. Go do that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah. Go do that. Now.