What Are Friends For

Sex Positive Friendship

May 25, 2021 Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry Season 3 Episode 18
What Are Friends For
Sex Positive Friendship
Chapters
What Are Friends For
Sex Positive Friendship
May 25, 2021 Season 3 Episode 18
Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry

Friends are for being open about their sex lives. In this solo episode, Pallavi and Gabrielle dive into the the sex positivity movement. Whether watching Bridgerton with your mother or comparing your sex life to what the media says it should be - talking about sex is difficult. But it's always better with a friend.

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Show Notes Transcript

Friends are for being open about their sex lives. In this solo episode, Pallavi and Gabrielle dive into the the sex positivity movement. Whether watching Bridgerton with your mother or comparing your sex life to what the media says it should be - talking about sex is difficult. But it's always better with a friend.

Get free delivery on your first grocery order of $35 or more at instacart.oloiyb.net/WAFF

Follow us everywhere @waffpodcast

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Pallavi Sastry:

No really What are friends for friends are for discussing bridgerton Hello I'm Pallavi Sastry

Gabrielle Ruiz:

and I'm Pallavi his BFF Gabrielle Ruiz also bridgerton yep Pallavi when it comes to Britain though, like what? There's so many angles to dish over, there's so much tea to spill I saw it during the holidays I think that's what it was like fresh on Netflix

Pallavi Sastry:

was it hasn't been because okay, because here's the thing like I'm totally gonna let you finish your thought because I am so averse to bandwagons like I don't get on them. But this was done I got on it and not super late this time. Like I'm like still at like, where people are still obsessed. Anyway you were saying?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Well, I mean, it came on it like dropped on Netflix for the holidays. And for me that was like my my what's that like weekend where it's between New Year's between the weird week like weird week holiday where you're just like, I have no idea what day it is what time it is. I spent my time watching bridgerton and I loved it. Did you love it?

Pallavi Sastry:

I did I here's what happens when I get on a bandwagon is that I'm convinced I'm not going to like it as much like the hypes not gonna live up.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Sure Sure, sure

Pallavi Sastry:

what it is.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And I thought about Volkswagen bug cars when they came back around like in 2001.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right, right, right. And then we found out Volkswagen was an evil company.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Exactly. That's a good thing. Yeah,

Pallavi Sastry:

you were ahead of that curve there. So yes, I did. I did thoroughly enjoy it. I did binge it in two days. And I'm bringing this up, because people are always really surprised to find out that I binged it with my mother.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Really? Why?

Pallavi Sastry:

Why did I binge it with my mom? Or why are they surprised?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Why are they surprised that they go into it?

Pallavi Sastry:

Well, I think it's because well, first of all, my own sister was super surprised as like, you watched bridgerton with mommy. And I was like, Yeah, like, she just sat there. We enjoyed it. And it's because it's, there's so much sex in it, and so much talk about sex. And that's why I came to you Gabrielle and I brought up the topic of sex positivity. Because I, for the longest time To this day, to this moment that we're talking about this. probably haven't had like, in depth conversations about sex with my girlfriend's let alone my mom. And in that situation, we watched Bridgerton. And she enjoyed it. And we watched it, but we never spoke about any of it.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You did you even speak about the non sexual scenes at all, or character development or you just like enjoyed watching it separately together.

Pallavi Sastry:

There was very little talk at all. Like, there's just, we just watched it. That's it

Gabrielle Ruiz:

fascinating.

Pallavi Sastry:

And in the last in the last episode, she was like, she, I told her I said, I was waiting for you for the last episode. She said he waited for me. Okay, thank you so much. And she appreciated that I waited for her. Well, we still didn't talk about anything

Gabrielle Ruiz:

like not even like the costume choices, or

Pallavi Sastry:

I think that one, I think at one moment, we said, Oh, that girl her face. It's just so beautiful.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Instead of like, look at her riding him. Yes. They are going into it. Finally they're doing that. That's not what you said.

Pallavi Sastry:

None of that. None of that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Right? Well, I am so glad you brought up sex positivity because it definitely struck a chord in my personal life. Because you're right, when it comes to talking about sex with friends. There, the education that I got was a lot had a lot more to do with my professional environment, the dressing room on Broadway in my 20s I have to say like, that's where there was, I have to say I'm very grateful that there was a lot of positive conversations, feedback, laughter giggles but as well as like, the shows that I did had a multi generational ensemble, which is the room I was in most of the time the ensemble. And so when it came to multi generational conversations, it wasn't just all like hot sex. And you know, we're fabulous. And we're staying out all night and all that kind of stuff. No, it was like education.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And so and I wasn't sometimes even involved in the conversation. I was just a listener. And I didn't even sometimes ask questions because I probably was bashful about it in my 20s more than I am now. And yeah, so that's kind of like where I got my feedback. And now that's probably where I got my education the most versus, versus parental.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah, you know, and I think another reason why I brought this up is because, well, first of all, I, it was a funny coincidence that I did watch this show with my mom, I think my mom probably thought she gave me a sex talk. And she probably did her best, but it was I definitely learned more. Yes, later on. And also like in biology, like she also worked in the public school system. So she was like, okay, biology is going to teach you some things to like, the class will teach, right? Like a teacher will teach you, you know, so there's certain things that she probably felt like she was off the hook. But there's a quote, where Daphne's. There's a scene. Yeah, there's a character Daphne, one of the lead characters, she goes back to her mom, after being married for you know, a number of weeks or, you know, maybe a couple of months. And she goes back to her and she says, Mama, you sent me out into the world no better than a fool. You taught me how to play pretend, but nothing of the realities of married life or marital relations. Like she literally did not know how sex worked. She didn't. She didn't even know what sex was. She didn't know that she was being had by her husband. And being played by him. Like she didn't know anything like she. So when she says she was no better than a fool. Like she's being completely serious, like,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

because she felt she was feeling like one at this part of the her arc.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right work, right. And the most profound part of that was that she went to her ladies made her friend, her confident, to get the information she needed. So that's when I was like, you know, it's interesting that I haven't had like super frank conversations about sex with my friends. Because I think the reason why I haven't is because to me, there's like, always been so much glorification around it and like, exactly, I just didn't feel confident in it. Like, I mean, I wasn't sleeping with anybody in high school or anything like that. Nobody. Nobody wanted to sleep with me. So like, I just didn't know. And so I just went along with whatever people were saying, or maybe you felt like you had nothing to add? Yes. And also, on the flip side, I also didn't know anything. So

Gabrielle Ruiz:

yeah. You know, you feel like Yeah, exactly, exactly. Eva Radcliffe was our lead production assistant, who was needing to take a lifestyle break, she went through a lot this year with COVID. And with her father, and it's all over her feed, if you can go follow her and support her. We're so happy about Anna, our new lead production assistant, but it was Eva, who really, when you brought up the topic in our meeting, she was like, Yes, let's talk about it. And she's in her 20s. You know, and she is a generation below us. And was complete. I mean, the the the sparkle that and the the right, the rise that you got out of her, she lit up, you know what I mean? Like she lit up about it, because it's something that's happening with the next generation when it taught when it's about sex positivity, like self love, body positivity, you know, I'm so grateful that you and I in our 30s can like, get on the bandwagon. And also, you know, go to therapy, like figure some things out, but it's happening for the next generation about sex positivity. So why don't you tell us what

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah. So as soon as we got done with that she recommended? meeting, she immediately sent us an article from chaarg.com C H A A R G, we'll put the link into our blog as always, when we refer to something. And it was an article written by lovely writer named Avery

Singing:

Instafriends or Reality, yeah

Pallavi Sastry:

So we read the article, it was about the importance of sex positivity. But this writer joined charge charges an organization about health and wellness. So then it was like another layer of sex positivity being a healthy thing for your body. Right. And so her Instagram post on January 19, is her saying join charge and in jumping up and recruiting on a college campus, the reality is that she uses charge as a platform to share her mission and share and support sex positivity as part of health and wellness. And then the article that she wrote for charge. The best quote that we would like to point out is I'll leave you with this sex positivity doesn't mean you have to have a lot of sex. You can be a virgin and still identify as sex positive. It's about the community values behind the movement. Sex positivity is about uplifting, celebrating ourselves, our bodies, while freely seeking pleasure in whatever form that may come in.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And the title of the article is the importance of sex positivity. It's on charges website, but it will be linked directly from our Patreon public page like Pallavi mentioned, and we really suggest that if you are interested in reading this article, to be aware that sexual harassment eating disorder depression anxiety is it does come up in this article. However, it is thrilling it is it's so realistic, like our our segment, you know, Insta friends reality because you see Avery and her Instagram, like just jumping up and down be like join charge and you're like, what is this an MLM? No, it's actually like something that really has changed her life. And this choice and this, the courage that she has to talk about the importance of sex positivity and how she has, you know, journeyed through other disorders and other challenges in traumas and hurts and traumas. And she's only in her 20s and how many other people are also going through this and how many other people are watching bridgerton and watching that scene and relating to that where it was just, you know, a way to play pretend or it's just a way that you're okay with, with your spouse to you or told society tells you to be okay with being harassed about your body and then take it that way where you bring it into your adulthood, you bring it into your marriage, you bring it to your relationships. And so when you brought it up to me, I was like, What exactly do you want to talk about like our sex history? And you and you were like, no, it's it's talking about the overall need to be open and to be supportive. specifically because of our show to your friends about sex positivity. Pallavi your hat is so slay.

Pallavi Sastry:

You mean the one that we designed Gabrielle?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I mean, I love that you are wearing your slay ball cap and drinking from your be my platonic love mug You better work.

Pallavi Sastry:

What can I say? I'm a big fan of all the merch in our waff shop.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Ooh, waff shop as you should be. Waffshop.com has something for everyone from baseball caps to coffee mugs to magnets all with the signature waff style

Pallavi Sastry:

ordering is super convenient. Just fill up your card with lots of slay items and checkout in no time at all. All domestic orders, qualify for free shipping.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And the best part. use promo code waff 10 WA, f f 10 at checkout, and you'll get 10% off your order. Because we're always looking out for our waff fam. We're very good friends,

Pallavi Sastry:

head over to watch shop calm that's w A f f shop .com and by yourself and all your platonic love some slay friendship gifts today.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Now back to Waff.

Pallavi Sastry:

If uplifting and celebrating as Avery says celebrating ourselves in our bodies is the goal of the sex positivity movement movement, then, why am I so still uncomfortable telling you Gabrielle my best friend about the fact that I'm not really having sex right now. And in fact, I haven't had sex in almost six months. And I'm not really like necessarily feeling bad about it. But like society is telling me that that's a problem right now.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Oh my god, I totally can relate to the struggle of what we're being told to do and what we're being told to glorify, and then actually what we're feeling and then the guilt that spins after that, where you're just all by yourself in your head, and no one to talk to you about it. You know, because I mean, I'm in my third trimester. It's getting awkward, you know, it's just that the positioning is getting awkward. And yeah, and I, there's this awesome app for pregnant and first time moms and motherhood. It's called peanut, Philip. And I remember telling him about I was like, I hope this is not a place where women go and just like, complain or just judge each other because like, you know, you know, as you would agree, motherhood comes with a lot of judgment and a lot of opinions, but it's very supportive. And I found a really awesome groups from far away and nearby where we live in Los Angeles. But I did go on there incognito. And I was like, Is anybody else having awkward sex and their third trimester because it's, it's just like Philip and I talk about it extensively, like, Okay, how about this?

Pallavi Sastry:

Right?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And, you know, to, for me to bring that up to you. I can understand that it's uncomfortable. And so do you feel you just admitting it right now has helped with freeing you like Daphne or has helped you feel like supported in a way that you are asked, Are you asking for support? Are you asking to confess because I think with friendships sometimes, you know, should we just listen or should we Support.

Pallavi Sastry:

I think I brought this up to it. Well, saying it out loud. Definitely has alleviated some of the anxiety around it. I'll tell you that. Because like I said, I, I don't my my relationship, I think the implication is that my relationship is suffer suffering for us somehow, because I'm not because we're not having sex right now. And that is absolutely not the case. Like, I, we are so communicative. And we're so like, you know what I mean? Like bringing up a baby. Yeah, I just hate that. That's the implication. And that's why I didn't bring it up. That was the anxiety I was feeling. It's like, right, you know, it feels like people won't believe me when I'm say when I say we're okay. Right. Like, we're good. Like, just because we're not like necessarily doing this, this thing right now, doesn't mean we won't ever do it again. Or that it was never good to begin with. Or that there's, we're headed towards the end like, no, that's, I don't know, want to hear any of that. And so it was it was Yeah, it was hard for me to admit. But like, that's where the anxiety is, is that it's the implication is that there's something wrong with my relationship?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And do you feel like there's something wrong with your relationship?

Pallavi Sastry:

Absolutely not.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

See?

Pallavi Sastry:

Absolutely not.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And that I think that comes with you. Just saying that out loud, can help release that anxiety. So you can, you can be okay with the space because guys, everyone that's listening, if you can relate to this, leave us a voice message, no matter how much information you want to share. It's never TMI for us. But at I have to say like we are going through, hopefully the end of a world crisis. Yeah. And things are weird right now. And things are the evolution of humanity on a daily basis, which you would consider normal before pandemic is not normal anymore. It's abnormal. I have seen a lot of articles about relationships, when they use the word suffering, which brings about my you know, which circles back to what you're saying. suffering and their sex lives with each other because now they both work from home. So they there's never any reunion, daily reunion to see each other, you haven't seen each other for a day or two or blah, blah, blah, like that excitement? And I have to say, you're correct when it comes to how the news or how articles are basing it upon us, or pressuring us to make us feel like we're failing.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right? Right. And, you know, if I were to get you know even more on my soapbox about it's like I, I have been in this relationship for almost 13 years. Yeah, and in this in the context of a 13 year relationship, if we're just having a six month, non no sex, dry, dry spell, if you want to call it that, like, which I don't think I like that terminology either. If we just haven't had sex for six months, like, I think I'm still kind of killing it here.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You're winning your winning

Pallavi Sastry:

feel like I'm still six months and 13 years. That's pretty damn good.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Like, it's pretty good. That's pretty, pretty good. Please give us a phone call. And leave us a voice message on 805-973 slay that's 805-973-7529. Or check out our Instagram. By the time this episode comes out, we will be posting and looking forward to your comments on how you are dealing with sex positivity conversations with your friends, because Pallavi and I are having it right now for you guys, for you to actually, you know, have an example of like, there's no right way to do it. There's no, they're all all that it comes down to is feeling comfortable with a specific person, your specific friend, to have that conversation of vulnerability because like, again, there are a lot of television film, news articles out there that shame you for not having sex with either a significant other or in general or being glorified in a way that ends up negative just like Avery's article at the top what she talks about, then then she thinks that she was being told from other people. Yeah, specifically men, that she would only be loved because of her body or should only be wanted, because that's what you know, I always go I feel like I was get to the bottom of it. It's like just wanting to be loved. Yes, wanting to be wanted, and then you're reaching for that in your friendships as well. Because platonic love is just as important.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah. And, you know, she talks about how like her trauma, also. Her trauma and being abused also, like was, was part of the reason why she just didn't really, like even talk about her own feeling of like she she didn't talk about feeling sexy or actually want to feel sexy or anything like that. Because like, you know, she didn't want to give men the wrong idea. You know, and so that really speaks to this larger issue of like, you know, if we're not like a afraid to talk to each other as women about this stuff, then that means that there's strength in numbers and protection and numbers in that way. Right. Yeah. And port for Yes. Yeah. I think Safety Safety is only gained if there's more people in the know. Right. So it's like, if I if I had had a more if I had had more frank conversations about sex with friends with my parents with even like maybe like older cousins, whoever what it is, like, you know, maybe I would have had better tools to like cope with my own abuse. And and this is something this is also like, this is a whole nother conversation, but like, I think that's for me, the what I got out of this article is like, sex positive conversations and the importance of sex positivity is for your health and our mental health.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And I think like if I were to watch a sex scene with my mom, I would still start sweating at 36 years old, I would probably start getting like hot behind the ears Yeah, versus the Compare comparing that to Netflix's other show sex education. Where I you know, the the scenario of your parents being a sex therapist, and they want to talk to you about it like us now me as a future parent and you as a current parent, I'm curious you know, talking about like sex with your parents, right? Will that ever change? I don't know.

Pallavi Sastry:

You know, I can I can kind of tell an anecdotal story like the something that just happened today. Because my mom she takes sheesh out for a walk in mid morning. And there's she's been like meeting new friends across the street at the, on the steps of the junior high. There's like little kids that come and play there. And there's a little boy in the neighborhood that's three years old, and she's about the same height as she Sheesh. And like apparently today, she was like going up to him and like hugging him and like was like, put like poking him with her finger. And like she she gives hugs. And she like even she like does. She doesn't know how to like actually make the kissy noise, but she just puts her mouth on some cheek. Yeah. And apparently she did that. And I was like, I was like, this is this. It's already happening. Like, it's already. Like, I was sitting there thinking to myself, I was like, What is my reaction to this?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You know, what was your reaction to this?

Pallavi Sastry:

I was like, Oh, I was like, Sheesh. Stay away from that boy, like, I don't know. But of course, I don't want her to like, I don't want it to be taboo. You don't I mean, I'm already overthinking. And she's not even two years old. Like.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Now I have to say when it came to my mother, I appreciated how there was this one time in middle school for like, registration, like school registration before first day of school, as I was like a cheerleader, and the cheerleaders helped out right with administration stuff and welcoming the students. And I'll never forget, after I hooked my arm, on the vice principal, and walked with Him, but I hooked my arm to him. And after I did that, my mom pulled me aside and she's like, you can't do that. And I said, Why? And she's like, because it's just, it's it can compromise. It looks. It can look bad. It can look like something that is, I'm telling you to protect you. And not even that principle, so and so whatever, in any way compromise. I'm not saying that she's like, but when it comes to sex education, my mom was really good at that, like, don't come across. And it's not like, you know, for girls like close your legs like It Wasn't that it was like, you know, don't don't look like a slut. She was like, it was more like, you need to protect yourself and your image to not come off. I know you mean it innocently, because vice principal, so and so it was just really nice. And you guys get along whatever she's like, but you can't hook your arm to him. I'll never forget that. When it crosses that boundary. Yeah, that sexual boundary that she helped me learn when it came to like me being 13 and growing a body. You know what I mean? And, and, yeah, she was, I appreciate that education as well.

Pallavi Sastry:

Right? Yeah, for sure. I mean, there's obviously we're going through a huge women's movement right now and also a men's movement to really understand what the programming has been right. It's like, you know, the our all of our teaching and all of our all of our training as women is like, Don't do this. Don't do that. Protect yourself that that's true. So now we're also like, okay, boys, things are gonna change for you too. And I also think like this The other thing with the whole you know, sheesh thing this morning when she went to go out and play I was like, oh, like, she she's a she's a little she's a little girl and she went up to the boy and she was the one That hug him and like, and I was like, Okay, I mean, I don't want to ever, like, not empower her to like, be how she wants to be. But it will be. I did in that moment. It was funny to me that my, the first my first reaction to it was who know That boy is going to you know what I meang\. That boy is gonna do something.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah. Did you? Did you initially thought danger or just caution? yield?

Pallavi Sastry:

Or just like nervousness

Gabrielle Ruiz:

awareness?

Pallavi Sastry:

Yes, yeah nervousness of, of the unknown, really

Gabrielle Ruiz:

nervousness of the unknown in the introduction of that topic, even if she doesn't speak to you in English yet. You're like, well, that's gonna come up. That's Parenthood,

Pallavi Sastry:

right? But she totally knows that little boy's name and we say if so it says, Do you want to go outside and play with so and so? And she's like, and she goes, and she runs in and she gets her shoes. I'm like, Okay.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Okay, here we go. Here we go, little Daphne. So, back to friends, though, like talking to pot, you know, having this positive conversation with friends? How old? Were you? When you had your first conversation with a friend about sex? Do you want to go into the topic? But like, Do you remember how old you were?

Pallavi Sastry:

Probably, like 11 or 12. It was when you know, everybody was starting to get their periods. And, you know, it's like, that's probably when it was the first time that I had had over Actually, it's more like overheard somebody else's conversation about sex, and thinking that it was so taboo. And so like, Oh, my God, and these are the people that my parents warned me about these, like, evil you don't I mean, like, it was just so off limits. That that's where that's again, that's why that whole, like, you know, no more than a fool thing really hits home. For me, it's like, I just feel like I just didn't know, for the longest time. And also nobody, like I wasn't very, like desired in the traditional, you know, idea of what that means. Because, you know, I was one of three brown kids in my entire town. So like, I just, I never, I never saw myself as like, somebody who was desired in any way. So when I would hear about those things, it was like I was hearing it, learning about it, and also living vicariously.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Well, now this now you and your current age as your friend, I fully support you. I don't think it's a dry spell. And I totally get it. I mean, it is it is tough all around. And also there are, I think, in marriage, there are other things that are desirable to satisfy me. Besides, the only thing that we're being told that can do those things, to our man is sex.

Pallavi Sastry:

Mm hmm. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And I think if you don't mind me asking you a question. Like, you know, I wonder when you guys were going through the miscarriage was there like any hesitation around that conversation there?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

about sex?

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I don't think so. I don't think so. In the miscarriage. No, my hormones were still raging. So I, I definitely, I don't think there was any like hesitance it's more because I've got this big belly in front of me that the anatomy of it is just, like, let's talk like, like, physical, you know, aspect of it. And we just talked about it was like, you know, I wanted to make sure that I was still desirable, despite me getting bigger, and I wanted to make sure that he was okay. And that, you know, if not as often as usual and, and I and we ask those questions, and I'm very grateful that my that Philip is is very loving and his answers to like, you're still beautiful, you're still desirable. And, but it's just really awkward. And we both are like that. It's just like, it's it's difficult. Yeah, literally difficult. It's not like, you know, he's afraid. It's not like we're afraid. And I asked him that, like, Are you afraid that you're gonna hurt the baby? And that's a very common conversation that couples can go through and he was like, now it's just it's just it could it could just it's just awkward. Yeah, awkward with angles and trying to get that done and yeah, to make it happen, you know, so I have to say when it came to the miscarriage No, it was it was not the healing I just had to heal before we could have sex again. And my my ob told us to wait three months since I'm after 35 to wait three months and have like three menstrual cycles. And that was March of 2020. When we were okay to start again and then we waited a little bit longer to see if the world would Gotta end before we started trying again.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah. Well, I appreciate that you answered that question because I know it. I mean, I know you're very open about it, but it can it can be, it can be very vulnerable to talk about a tough time in your life having to do with some Yeah, like your, your hormones in your body and your sex life. And, you know, going back to what you said about asking for Philip, like I did ask Hari as well, while I was pregnant, and it wasn't so much about the awkwardness of it, he actually was like, he did have some hesitations about like, hurting the baby hurting the baby. And we've told this story in public before. So I have no problem sharing this now before and it will be a fun one to end on before we go into the last segment. But, um, you know, I did a home birth and so I was having my midwife come to do the last, like the weekly checkups, you know, and like during the my due date. She was she she was born seven days, like a week later. And on the day three that she hadn't arrived yet after the due date. We were like, Okay, all right. Let's let I guess, I guess let's try. Just try sex. Let's try it to see if we can get her out.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

But that can be one of the suggestions too.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Initiate labor.

Pallavi Sastry:

Exactly. And then the next day, my midwife came and she like, did an exam and she said, Oh, there's the baby's head. And I was like, Oh, really? And she said, You guys had sex yesterday? And I said, Yeah, and she goes, Well, I hope you didn't do any brain damage. And Hari joke as a joke, as a joke. And Hari's face with white in the corner, because he was like, I know, I I knew that she could feel it

Gabrielle Ruiz:

okay, okay, first of all, give me your midwife's number because she's good at her jokes. But second of all, like how dare she?

Pallavi Sastry:

She had no idea either. She had no idea that that was like, that was like a, an anxiety that we talked about. Like, we didn't do any brain damage. She just like shocked her. So that's. And I laughed also because I knew like I understood like, it was an inside joke. And then how it was just like, That's not funny. Like it's not funny man.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Like that actually is a real concern of mine. Man. What are sex positive friends for?

Pallavi Sastry:

sex positive friends and friendships is also what I'll say, are for safety. That's it. And Gabrielle, what are sex positive friends for

Gabrielle Ruiz:

sex positive friendships and friends are for honest. non judgmental conversations and allowance for those in time. Thank you, Avery, for empowering us with helping us with this conversation that we want to have about sex positivity with friends. Eva, thank you for also bringing that article to us. And thank you, Daphne, for being so honest in your film, with your friends made rose to let her know that she was always there for her. Greatly appreciate that as

Pallavi Sastry:

well. Bye. Bye. Tada. toodaloo 1234 This episode was produced by Team Access productions and Fast Nickel Inc. Our supervising producer is Philip Pisanchyn.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our consulting producers are Kathleen Choe and Rose Harwood

Pallavi Sastry:

lead production assistant is Anna Dannecker digital content director is Susi Cabello. Our production assistants are Daniela Heredia Vega Solaire Olsen and Megann Billedo.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our podcast artwork is created by Aishwarya Sukesh original music by Joie Sherman and special thanks to irresistible force publicity and Hari Savitala

Pallavi Sastry:

please remember to subscribe rate and review this podcast wherever you're listening. Now, this helps our show's visibility and helps us keep making it for you

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And find us on all the socials Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and tik tok at wolf podcast.And find us on all the socials Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok at WAFF podcast. That's w a F F podcast to find links to our exclusive podcasts, live shows shop merch or even text us visit waffpodcast.com.

Pallavi Sastry:

We truly appreciate you all checking in with us online. We know that friend that you've been like, ah, I really haven't checked in with them in a while. Go do that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah. Go do that. Now.