What Are Friends For

Lady to Lady: Mind Your Friends or Mind Your Business

June 08, 2021 Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry Season 3 Episode 20
What Are Friends For
Lady to Lady: Mind Your Friends or Mind Your Business
Chapters
What Are Friends For
Lady to Lady: Mind Your Friends or Mind Your Business
Jun 08, 2021 Season 3 Episode 20
Gabrielle Ruiz & Pallavi Sastry

Friends are for lady talk! This week, Pallavi and Gabrielle chat with stand up comedians and hosts of Lady to Lady podcast, Brandie Posey and Tess Barker. They discuss when to be honest about your feelings towards your friends’ S/Os and when to stay quiet - SPOILER ALERT - the wedding is too late.

Get 10% off your HydroJug order with code WAFF10 https://www.thehydrojug.com/discount/FRIENDS 

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Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Show Notes Transcript

Friends are for lady talk! This week, Pallavi and Gabrielle chat with stand up comedians and hosts of Lady to Lady podcast, Brandie Posey and Tess Barker. They discuss when to be honest about your feelings towards your friends’ S/Os and when to stay quiet - SPOILER ALERT - the wedding is too late.

Get 10% off your HydroJug order with code WAFF10 https://www.thehydrojug.com/discount/FRIENDS 

Follow us everywhere @waffpodcast

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/waffpodcast)

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Hey, Pallavi Did you know almost 75% of Americans are dehydrated. That means three out of four waff listeners aren't getting the gallon of water a day they need to reap the benefits of being fully hydrated.

Pallavi Sastry:

Wow, Gabrielle good thing. 100% of waff hosts have the hydrojug

Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

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Gabrielle Ruiz:

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Pallavi Sastry:

hydrojug hydration made easy

Gabrielle Ruiz:

now back to off

Pallavi Sastry:

no really What are friends for friends are for unfiltered lady to Lady talk. I'm Pallavi Sastry

Gabrielle Ruiz:

and I'm Pallavi's best friend Gabrielle Ruiz Pallavi define like Lady to lady talk though. Like are you one of those people that like thrive in it? Because it makes it has in the past? More than my present made me very uncomfortable.

Pallavi Sastry:

Well, yeah, I mean, I think I just had a hard time sharing things in general because I just didn't want to be embarrassed by anything. So that included my lady friends even though I felt like I had a lot of girlfriends they just didn't know much about me. So that's like part of growing up I think

Gabrielle Ruiz:

but did you have lady the lady with with your sister? Because I don't think I did. Like my sister would just literally throw me under the bus if I told her any.

Pallavi Sastry:

Well, no, I'm the older sister. Also in this scenario, you're the younger sister. So like I grew, you know, so that's a different dynamic as well. Yeah, no, my my sister and I were we definitely have grown up a lot and we've gotten closer however, we're actually better. This is a whole nother episode. But like, we're we're better creative and business partners than we are like friends and like sisters.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Oh, what a nice episode we should talk about in season four.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yes, for sure.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Speaking of the lady to Lady professionals, let's bring on our co hosts are hosts of this amazing podcast we're excited to welcome to the waff zoom stage.

Pallavi Sastry:

We have comedians podcasters. And one of them very self proclaimed as of dog mom, which we all are to we love to say dog mom around here. It's the CO hosts of the lady to Lady podcast. Please welcome Tess Barker and Brandie Posey.

Brandie Posey:

Hello

Tess Barker:

Hi guys

Brandie Posey:

Thanks for having us guys

Gabrielle Ruiz:

we're so excited that you're here. Thank you for coming on. When we last saw each other It was on zoom like maybe four days ago and it's you know it's been a long four days I missed you all and I have to say the energy that we had on your podcast was like and then now we're all just like

Tess Barker:

it's a Thursday kind of day Friday is on the horizon we're just sitting here just like our right when is the weekend which sweat pants Will I be wearing in my house? That's the question I'm wondering.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah, I already pulled out the sweat pants to have like the paint stains on on the ones that I work in around the house in like I'm about to get on my hands and knees and probably scrub the floor. You got a mean guy.

Tess Barker:

That's a good tactic maybe I would actually clean my house if I took out my paint sweatpants ahead of time.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, I like it.

Pallavi Sastry:

I'm not saying like foolproof or anything but I like to tell myself that I'm going to be more responsible and productive after this but

Brandie Posey:

look at you bragging was something on the calendar though. bravo

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Already a win.

Pallavi Sastry:

Sadly, we are missing Miss Babs. Today she's doing her COVID vaccine recovery which Yes, which is amazing. I think we're in that time with that. The other thing that's been cool about our show this season is like we're talking about, like, re entering the real world. You know what I mean? Like, this whole year and a half of hasn't been a little over a year of a dumpster fire.

Brandie Posey:

It's been 398 days. I keep reading these guy counting counting them on my calendar, like a prisoner.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I have by the we ks I have um if today's the 15 h it's been 57 weeks.

Brandie Posey:

It's been 57 weeks.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Since you looked at mee

Pallavi Sastry:

saw my face. Yeah. Yeah. We chose that post that you guys put up on the lady, the lady Instagram on April 2. And it says lady problem. How do you pick bridesmaids from your close group of friends? Ah.

Brandie Posey:

Oh, yeah.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

The gasps back there

Brandie Posey:

Tough one. Dun d n dun

Tess Barker:

Yeah, I think that was something I think somebody wrote into us about that.

Pallavi Sastry:

And how did that discussion go because like, it can be like, how do you how do you walk the line? You know, like, you know, it's, it's hard to say cuz, you know, you want to say, Oh, I only have a small budget, but then they're like, I don't fit into your small budget or like, you know, it can be it can lead to a lot of different places. So what kind of answers did you guys get?

Tess Barker:

I mean, we told them I think basically, the gist of it was it's your wedding. This is like your only your only wedding Don't worry about hurting other people's feelings. Just have the people close to you that you want to have close to you. I mean, I you know, it's you know, if somebody has bad energy, like, there's already so much going on on your wedding day, like you don't need bad vibes in your immediate orbit. So I think that's sort of the gist of it. For me, it was very easy to see my bridesmaids because I have a sister to sister in laws. And then my girlfriends that I went to high school with the day after I got engaged, I got engaged. I went to brunch with them. And they told me that they were my bridesmaids. And then I was like, well that's, I guess the the docket is full, no further applications. And

Gabrielle Ruiz:

how'd you feel about that? We were like legit, like, that's fine. Or were you like, what to do?

Tess Barker:

No. I mean, I was a bridesmaid in a couple of their weddings. And we've been friends since we were like 14, and they're kind of my friends that I think would be the most excited by brides meeting. So it was kind of a win

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, for sure. For sure. Babs and I got to do a bit during her wedding. That was very fun. We got to give a fun little speech. So it's like, I think that it's like the bridesmaids and that the wedding party isn't the only place that you have to have like a moment to let somebody shine. I think that's the important thing to focus on. Because you can have like the person that's giving the speech to people doing the readings. You know, it's like i've i've officiated a few weddings. I've also like been the emcee of like, the the, like the reception afterwards. A few 10. Yeah. So it's like, there's all sorts of places that if somebody wants to show their love for you, you can find like, our friend Susan Burke does flowers. She did flowers for your wedding. Yeah, they were gorgeous. So it's like, you know, there's other ways to bring people I think into the celebration of it all other than just, you know, the bridesmaids, a bit of everything.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I like one of the comments on your post that said, you don't you just don't

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, we did get a lot of people on like, because we also posted in our stories, we got a lot of responses there. They were like just a elope, fuck it

Tess Barker:

I tell people that all the time. I would never trade my wedding for the world. But if you are not someone who definitely wants a big wedding, don't feel pressure just elope. Just write out a word which you want to do.

Pallavi Sastry:

That would be hard to sell to a bunch of people, South Asian people, but maybe like, you know, because i and i and i also got married in my 20s. And like, you know, you still want sort of depending on who you are and what kind of family you come from. You still want your parents approval and you want you know what I mean? Like so? Maybe now if I were to get married in my 30s I bet I could sell elopement to my family a little easier, for sure. But, you know, that was 12 years ago now. But um, yeah. So Well, let me spin it a little bit more. So we also are curious if you guys have opinions on because for me, I had a large wedding. I was it was in my early 20s. And but my my friend circle, like didn't know my husband very well, because he was like a childhood friend of mine that wasn't local. You know, they they only got to meet him like when we started dating. And when we started dating, we were like, Okay, this is that we're gonna get married because we own each other for so long. You know what I mean? And so there was a couple of people who like, weren't like the they didn't get it. They weren't like, the biggest fans of the relationship. They're like, Where did this come from? And so like, I actually feel like a couple people didn't come or make it a priority because they just didn't maybe support it. And I wonder if you guys have opinions on like, What happens if a girlfriend doesn't like your significant other? Like, do you want to know? Like, how do you have that conversation?

Tess Barker:

I think my personal opinion is that that is something that you can and should be vocal about early on in a relationship, you know, because I think that is like one of those deal breaker things or an early red flag, I think, when it comes to significant others, it's one thing if maybe your significant other isn't super close to your girlfriends, but if they really don't vibe with that person, like your girlfriends are people who really know and love you. So if they don't really vibe with that person, I think that's kind of a red flag. But that said, I think once it gets to like the marriage stage of things, it's a little bit late, I think that they're probably going to go through a wedding. And there's not really much you can do. So I sort of have the mindset of like, it's okay to have friendships that you kind of that are kind of like outside of your marriage, and maybe you just do girl lunches with them, and they don't really hang out with you and your husband, and you just kind of keep those relationships separate.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, I think that's like, definitely like about it. Because it's like, early, it also depends on like, why they don't like your husband is like, Is it like, this is a person that's like not being good to you? Like, are they like, belittling you and being shitty? Or are they just a person that like, I wouldn't date him, you know, because guess what, you're not dating them? And that's fine. But if it's like, you don't know if this person is like, you know, behind closed doors, or whatever, and maybe there is room for them to grow or, or whatever. But like, I think it's Yeah, early on, is like, if you're getting bad vibes from somebody check in if your friend seems that they're like pulling away, or like, look for red flags, and things like that. But other than that, we're kind of all adults, and you got to figure out your shit the way you're gonna figure out your shit. And I'm always, I'm always a fan that it can until there's kids, it can always end the kids or when I'm like, Oh, shit, this guy's so serious. Okay, I guess this reral.

Tess Barker:

As a child of divorce, I will tell you it can end after there's kids as well.

Brandie Posey:

Fair fair. So there's still hope for some of my friends.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

But Pallavi you have like a little bit of a story behind this question, don't you?

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah, I mean, I hear you on like, you know, the the wind, it's getting to the wedding point, it's probably a little too late. But like, you know, as I referred to earlier, like the, the escalation of my friendship to relationship to marriage was quite short. Because of the nature of my relationship with my husband. You know, I remember he had moved to New York soon after I did. So that he kind of followed me there. My two girlfriends that I was hanging out with, you know, pretty consistently, they were college friends of mine knew me really well, we would talk about at the time, like talking beat wanting to be a young dad and wanted to have like, lots of children. And, you know, because he's the youngest of his family had lots of nieces and nephews that were around him, as you know, while he was young, and so he wanted to be a young dad. And, you know, I didn't really like, you know, say no, or refute him on the on the topic. And I would just be like, Okay, and then they were like, so concerned for, like, what they knew about me and what I wanted for my future. And they thought that maybe this guy was like, you know, pressuring me into like, changing what I wanted my life to be like, because, like, they knew I didn't necessarily want to be a mom. And so I thought, I actually, like, really respected them for the way they presented it because it was more about their concern for me and my wants and my needs and what they knew about me, you know what I mean?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

You weren't, you weren't offended at all?

Pallavi Sastry:

Like, I, you know, I wasn't ever I really wasn't, I have to say, maybe this is also my personality, like, I also tend to default to, to leading with, like, gratitude and leading with like, thank you so much for caring about me. You know, I'm so I don't know, I just and I actually, I don't know, maybe that's just me, but I'm curious to know if, if, if there are like, when it is the more serious thing like what you guys were talking about, like, Oh, is this? Is this friend, friends, significant other being shitty to them? And are they belittling them? like, Ooh, that's that, to me? That sounds even tougher to navigate, because then it feels like the other person could easily be defensive. Right?

Brandie Posey:

Of course. Well, I think it's really important to make sure you keep that line of communication open and like, if they start being like, hey, this happened. I'm upset you kind of just like ask questions to like, it's like, it's like when you're a lawyer with in a courtroom or you're asking question, you want to lead the witness a little bit, I think is what you want to do in that situation. You know, if somebody seems that they're like, in a bad place, like they need to, because ultimately, they need to come to the conclusion to leave on their own right, you know, and the more that it can feel like it's coming from them, and you can just pull the strings a little bit and

Tess Barker:

I think that helps with it being defensive. Did you guys end up having kids sooner Did you guys wait?

Pallavi Sastry:

No, I just had my first baby in 2019.

Tess Barker:

Oh, wow. Okay, so did you see you took that to heart what they said like did that affect

Pallavi Sastry:

like their ain't no baby happenin. Yeah, we waited almost it was we celebrated our 10 year anniversary when she was five months old. So yeah, nice. So yeah, we definitely took our time. And you know it for me, it was just like, I was happy that they presented the the necessity for me to go and talk to my husband and be like, Hey, listen, like you were saying this stuff. And they were like thrown off by so I just want to make sure that you're not actually like, dead hard set on like having a baby really soon, because I'm not cool with that, you know, and actually kind of helped.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

The scenario that annoys the shit out of me is years after your breakup, and they were like, ah, he was so intense. I can't believe he dated that guy for so long. And I saw him again. And he's just like, God, I just can't believe you dated him like that. You're just like, Why didn't you tell me? Like, what,

Pallavi Sastry:

let's say?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Also what I have taken it. What I have actually listened. I don't think so. Because I was so deep in it. Yeah. And I also agree at that point, when you're finally like, you know, a few years, you look back and you're like, are you see that person again? platonically. Or just like, Hey, how's it going? Because you run into them? And you're like, wow, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

Tess Barker:

unfortunately, I think the majority of the time you're talking to someone who kind of can't see the forest from the trees. So they, yeah, it's gonna kind of fall on deaf ears. I don't know how many forest metaphors I can do. But if if advice about a boyfriend falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Did it actually happen? actually happen? No, I think I've had that scenario before. We're just like, Yeah, I just can't believe you did that. And you're like, wow, how long were you thinking that?

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah, that that's happened to me, for sure. And they're still with that person. And I'm just like, because you told me early on that you didn't want to hear my opinion. Right?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Wait, because you were offering your opinion, or they just,

Pallavi Sastry:

they actually, like this friend came to me when this this relationship was escalating quickly. And we shared our concern for how how, what we knew about this person, because he had actually dated another friend of ours before, like, in a different circle and a different circle. And so we actually did know things about him. And we were trying not to like push that, you know, cuz everybody grows, everybody learns and everybody like heels or, you know, whatever it is, and, and she was asking, you know, she was asking kind of, like, you know, do you are you guys cool with us kind of moving in, and they were like, dating for like, two months at that point. And I was like, ah, I mean, here's, here's what we know. I don't know if you guys are happy. But you know, here's what we're concerned about. Cuz she asked, you know, of course and we were concerned we shared our concern about the person and then she was like, and then she actually got upset because she wanted us to be more on her side and concerned about her well being and we were like, I thought sharing this was actually the concern for your well being is sharing our concerns about this person. Yeah. And then like, five years later, she was like, thinking about leaving him she's she didn't but like, you know, it was like a big reckoning you know, we were like listen, you told us that from that day that you didn't want to you didn't appreciate what we had to say so yeah, you know, I don't I don't know what to tell you girlfriend.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

It's about it's definitely a balance of Mind Your friends are mind your business right like minded friend or mind your business Which side are you gonna pick because they're both very very delicate situation. Pallavi your hat is so slay

Pallavi Sastry:

You mean the one that we designed? Gabrielle?

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I mean, I love that you are wearing your slay ballcap and drinking from your be my platonic love mug. You better work.

Pallavi Sastry:

What can I say? I'm a big fan of all the merch in our waff shop.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Ooh, waff shop as you should be. waff shop .com has something for everyone from baseball caps to coffee mugs to magnets all with the signature waff style

Pallavi Sastry:

ordering is super convenient. Just fill up your card with lots of slay items and checkout in no time at all. All domestic orders qalify for free shipping,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

and the best part. use promo code waff10 WA f f 10 at checkout and you'll get 10% off your order because we're always looking out for a waff fam. We're very good friends.

Pallavi Sastry:

Head over to waff shop .com that's w A f f shop calm and buy yourself and all your platonic love some slay friendship gifts today.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Now back to waff. Well, I want to jump into lady to lady I want to hear about how it started. The three of you the one of you, the two of you like what is the origin story of Lady to Lady. Yeah, so

Tess Barker:

we were all friends. We all kind of just met on the stand up circuit in LA. So we were all already friends when we started the podcast and it started out actually The live show we kind of like, was like a Superman. Like we just started out like we kind of had this idea to do like a view. Like a version of the view.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, we wanted to do like a funny, weird fucked up version of like the video kind of

Gabrielle Ruiz:

that's so amazing.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, so we're like we'll do like weird topics and like the live show was at this little black box theater. Over on Melrose.

Tess Barker:

Yeah, Monica. It was like a stretch it was right there. Yes. Got it, huh.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah. And we just wanted to like, like riff and have fun, we'd have a guest on and we had like Craigslist talent would hire and we had like, like a character sketch that would kind of run with like three beats throughout all the different shows. So like, it was, it was really fun. It was monthly, and we'd like Buster assets for that. And then after the first couple, our, our producer at the time was like, you guys should maybe like try podcasting because it's easier. And you can reach more people than the people that can fit in this black box.

Tess Barker:

Like, Oh, yeah, yeah, we actually started as a lady like two months before I started dating my husband. So lady, the lady and my relationship were the same age. Yeah. Yeah. And so like podcasting wasn't really like a big deal back then. Like our friend David. It was just kind of like hip to it's really? Yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. That is a lot easier than getting people to schlep on to Santa Monica Boulevard. 8pm on a Thursday.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

So yeah, oh my god. But aren't we excited to do that again? Me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

Brandie Posey:

but now we've been doing it for nine years. every single Wednesday, basically. Yeah. Well, and it's been, I think,

Gabrielle Ruiz:

what is this?

Tess Barker:

Go ahead. Our sort of goal I think always with the show has been we just really feel like, contrary to the narrative that is fed to a lot of people that there's like this scarcity of women in comedy, and there's maybe only a couple of funny women at the at a time. We've always really felt no, there's actually like, so many funny and hilarious women and like, without even making the show be about Oh, are women funny, we just always kind of more like let's just showcase the wealth and the deep list of hilarious women that there are working in this industry. So that's just always been kind of like, the mission of the show and what we have to do exactly,

Brandie Posey:

yeah, we don't believe in being threatened by other funny women or we think it's just like a rising tide all ships and you know, if anybody says women aren't funny, we can point to over 400 episodes that the gate that almost immediately and you know, and our fan base is like a is extremely diverse, too, which is like very cool. You know, we've had like a number of guys that have written in that have just like, this is so cool. I had no idea what just like four women or five women talking sounds like and it's just like, so fun just to feel like I'm like at the sleep over about the brunch table. And like, I'm just learning all sorts of shit. And I think we like make women seem a lot more like, complex and more well rounded than then then the media wants you to think they are.

Pallavi Sastry:

Yeah, I think well, and it's also on the flip side of that. Also, people think that women can only be super intense and emotional, right? Like it's, it's nice to just shoot the shit and like not have to talk about anything too deep or just talk about, you know, waxing and like, you know what, what, you know, sausages we like to eat. I don't know why I just said that

Gabrielle Ruiz:

the sausages Yeah, like to eat. We love the lady, the lady conversation.

Brandie Posey:

I love a bratwurst. I love a chorizo.

Tess Barker:

I had it this morning!

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I mean, that's where I was

Pallavi Sastry:

I said it and I was like, Oh, shit.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Wait, wait, I want to go back to the origin story. I just have one question about your origin story. Because you bring it back since I know now it's nine years ago. The Craigslist talent go on

Tess Barker:

my god. So whenever I first live shows, we hired a man named coyly who did really poorly and he did he he did sign language interpretations of Michael Jackson. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah. Leaving Neverland.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we didn't know him that much. But yeah. And he also he weirdly like lost his phone during the show. And it was this whole drama afterwards of like him trying to find his phone. Like wouldn't leave the theater and we're like,

Tess Barker:

I don't know what it's Yeah, no, but yeah, we just like search the Craigslist gigs section and he was like advertising that he did sign language dancing the Michael Jackson songs and we were like, We can scrape together 50 bucks or whatever. I was like, Okay, yeah. For that, whatever that is, like a variety show feel. I mean, we would have like, friends come and sing like, you know, a song from Chicago and then somebody would come play a character and we were always like, we just were always going to the prop store and always blowing up lots of balloons to throw at the audience or confetti and just always doing like crazy dumb over the top stuff.

Brandie Posey:

Fight of buying like weird fake butts and stuff like that our our prop budget has been crazy we used to have a three person shirt the Tess's sister made for us

Pallavi Sastry:

okay yes okay I'm wrapping my brain around that find a picture gonna send us a picture that because we put a blog up of every episode of our show and so I love to show off that if you have a picture of the three person show I can definitely send that over to you for sure.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

I'm sure everyone that's listening now would love to listen to lady lady and that's on everywhere you can podcast or everywhere let us know

Brandie Posey:

oh yeah yep all the places just lady to Lady Yeah, you can just find us there were at lady to Lady comedy on all of our social and whatnot as well. that'll let you know like who's on every week and then we also like we talked about earlier we always post like our lady problem on our Instagram as like in the episode we always answer it but then it's also like do you have other things? Because I know the number of times that like we've been screaming at a podcast that we're not on to be like but this is what I think about it so it's nice to be able to like give people like that chance to also you know throw in their advice as well.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Do you have none one or multiple best friends?

Tess Barker:

multiple

Brandie Posey:

multiple

Gabrielle Ruiz:

and how do you keep in touch?

Brandie Posey:

It depends I think from different phases of my life like my my best friends from like growing up it's mostly like I see them on like Instagram that I talked to them maybe like twice a year or something and then my college friends I'm a little bit more like in text relationships with because I don't live in LA most of the time and then the people out here it's like you know you schedule if you if you care about somebody you schedule time to see them in LA

Tess Barker:

same I mean yeah, like there's some people that I try to schedule phone dates with the other people that don't live in LA yeah my friends that live here now especially now that I'm vaccinated hoping to be able to get back into a steady hang schedule. Yeah, phone calls facetimes all of the above

Gabrielle Ruiz:

in one word, or even a hyphenate whatever you would like what kind of friend over you by title. For instance. Some examples can be a listener. Problem Solver. You're needy, you're blunt, or something extravagant. Whatever you think you are. I mean, apparently we already know that Brandie is a monster friend.

Brandie Posey:

Monster Energy Drink.

Pallavi Sastry:

get really creative with this, by the way, like some some you know, some people say they're a hype woman. Some people's you know, I mean, like, you can imagine Oh, yeah, best friend ho

Gabrielle Ruiz:

best friend ho.

Brandie Posey:

Oh, it's interesting, because it's like, I know how I think I perceived myself but it's also you know, I guess it would be up to test to tell me if this is true or not. I consider myself kind of like a very like a, like loyal problem solver. Where like I really like to be somebody that people like I really do take it to heart when people like ask my advice on things. And I like to think that I you know, I've got your back through everything until you like do something horrible but

Tess Barker:

I would definitely agree with that Brandie is very loyal and very like objective and non judgmental. Yeah, very good at like, yeah, just can thinking through a problem with you and not getting dramatic about it.

Pallavi Sastry:

That's great. Yeah, how about you test?

Tess Barker:

Um, I guess the first word I thought of is like fun probably like most most people's fun friend. I like I like going on like vacations and I like talking to people and like staying up later or going out one more place or like

Brandie Posey:

yeah, test is like both the good and the bad devil on your shoulder at the same time because she's like genuinely like like one of the best people I know but also will get you into some shit

Gabrielle Ruiz:

fun

Pallavi Sastry:

A fun enabler Yes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Brandie Posey:

that's a good one.

Tess Barker:

Like people my friends like going shopping with me or but they probably shouldn't because like I'll talk you into buying that dress. Like I'm not the person you bring when you want to save money.

Brandie Posey:

So talk you into buying the dress and then get you kicked out of the Americana that bought it in that's what

Gabrielle Ruiz:

what would you like to do better as a friend

Tess Barker:

have more time. I mean, I just don't I wish I had I love I'm a very social person and I love my friends and I love spending time with them but I just constantly feel disappointed and kind of like disappointing other people by not having the amount of time that I would like to give to them or spend with them.

Brandie Posey:

God that was so true because it's like the one of the things I think makes our podcasts work so well is the three of us are also like workaholics and like the same but also different capacities. And I think that also can lend itself to like wanting to just be like no, I want this to be the best thing possible and needing to be able to carve out the time to be a person with people is like so Important, and unfortunately, I think, you know, especially like the la culture, it's like that kinda tends to be like the thing that you lose, first and foremost,

Pallavi Sastry:

for sure we can relate to that as New Yorkers, because that's a different hustle at all all together, you know?

Brandie Posey:

Totally. Yeah, it's totally time to to be people

Tess Barker:

ever. I mean, I guess that's kind of a cool thing runs. We talked about this a little bit when you guys are on lady lady. But that's kind of the cool thing about comedy is like, you can kind of get a twofer. Like you can be, quote, unquote, working while you're also hanging out with people. But then the downside of that is that can become like the only socializing you do.

Brandie Posey:

So, yeah, you really have to prioritize your non comic friends when you're like, a full time working comic too, because it's like no, I and also, it's important just for your own humanity, to talk to people that are common My God.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Right, you're like, Oh, this is different. This is a different filter of like, explaining things.

Tess Barker:

Oh, you have shame. Yeah.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, exactly. Like, I'll be a sweetheart like among comics. And then like, I was like, say something to like a, like a, like a regular party or something. And I'm like, Oh, I think I'm an asshole I think, I think

Gabrielle Ruiz:

that's so relatable.

Brandie Posey:

Oh, never mind.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Oh, backtrack back, just like back pedal back pedal back.

Pallavi Sastry:

No. Yeah, exactly. And finally, ladies are iconic question. What are friends for?

Brandie Posey:

Oh, for everything. You know, I mean, they may they they're, they're the spice of life. They make everything more fun. They make it you know, they're the people you want to share stuff with their chosen family. You know, they're the they're the they're you empowering yourself to make your life as good as possible by choosing to surround yourself with people that you care about.

Tess Barker:

Yeah. And like, they're, they're also kind of like a sounding board. I think they're Yeah, like, they're what we're talking about earlier. Like, if you're doing something that's really they, hopefully are people that know you well enough that if you do something that isn't true to yourself, they're kind of there to possibly point that out, out and help you redirect to, to more through you.

Brandie Posey:

Yeah, they your friends are there to see you for who you really are. And then to to be like to help you become the best, best or worse version of yourself, depending on who your friends are. Well,

Tess Barker:

and they're also people that you can trade close with.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yes. Oh, you're close with your friends. That's a totally different episode. Yeah.

Pallavi Sastry:

And also you do that? Yeah, I do like epic clothing swaps. So you guys will be invited to the lovelies

Brandie Posey:

got all sorts of sweat pants covered in paint to bring

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Well, Lady to Lady Thank you for coming on What are friends for? Also, thank you for having us on your podcast that everyone can go and find and reach and even get the extended version of this conversation also with Babs there are other hosts of Lady to Lady. And we just had a really good lady to lead to art like I literally when I saw the title of your show, I was like, Yeah, they used to make me uncomfortable. You guys made it fun.

Tess Barker:

That's our goal.

Pallavi Sastry:

All right. Well, we'll see you on the flip side, hopefully at a show a live show one of these days and thanks for coming on. We'll see everybody next week. Bye, guys. 1234 This episode was produced by Team access productions and Fast nickel inc. Our supervising producer is Philip Pisanchyn.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our consulting producers are Kathleen Choe and Rose Harwood

Pallavi Sastry:

lead production assistant is Anna Dannecker digital content director is Susi Cabello. Our production assistants are Daniela Heredia Vega Solaire Olsen and Megann Billedo.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Our podcast artwork is created by Aishwarya Sukesh original music by Joie Sherman and special thanks to irresistible force publicity and Hari Savitala

Pallavi Sastry:

please remember to subscribe rate and review this podcast wherever you're listening. Now, this helps our show's visibility and helps us keep making it for you.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

And find us on all the socials Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and tik tok at wolf podcast.And find us on all the socials Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok at WAFF podcast. That's w a F F podcast to find links to our exclusive podcasts, live shows shop merch or even text us visit waffpodcast.com.

Pallavi Sastry:

We truly appreciate you all checking in with us online. We know that friend that you've been like, I really haven't checked in with them in a while. Go do that.

Gabrielle Ruiz:

Yeah. Go do that. Now.